Saturday, February 27, 2010

Escorting and Self Esteem

Saturday, February 27, 2010
Just in from another night of work. So, does my job give me a good boost of self esteem? Does having sex with women for cash provide me with an added dose of self confidence that other men might lack?

I'm not really sure. Allow me to reiterate the fact that Julian is like an alter ego that only surfaces during working hours. Beyond that, I'm far more ordinary than any reader of this blog might suspect. I don't go around Miami thinking I'm God's gift to women -- not by a long shot.

There are men far better looking than I am. And wealthier, too. Some are both better looking and wealthier, which really makes me feel inferior. Most of the time, though, I feel pretty good. Better than most other men, I suspect. But it's not the idea of being desirable to women that makes me feel complete.

Folks, it's all about the money.

Money is freedom. Money gives me the luxury of waiting until a 9-5 gig worth taking comes around instead of slaving away in some temp position or equally soul-crushing job like most other graduates. Money enabled me to stay in Miami while many of my peers had to move back home.

Escorting provides money -- but it's what I do with that money that really makes me feel good. I pay my bills, save most of the rest, and even invest a bit here and there. And yes, I splurge now and then, most recently during a vacation to Vancouver, Canada last summer.

So any moments of "I'm-one-bad-ass-mother-fucker" aren't really from the sex, but rather the freedom and confidence that the money from sex provides. No one from HR or recruitment is going to take advantage of me or treat me like dirt, because I just don't need them. And that is a better feeling than bedding over 100 women as I have.

For those considering getting into escorting, please consider this: Doing it for cash is fine. Need extra money to supplement your studies? No problem. Doing it because you think you'll become more confident and it'll boost your own personal love life? NOT OKAY.

Having sex for cash is great, but at the end of the day, all you're really left with is that white envelope. If gaining nothing else but money from a job doesn't sound appealing, then escorting really isn't the way to go.
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