Monday, February 1, 2010

The Drawbacks of Sex Work

Monday, February 1, 2010
There's been an ever-increasing amount of Emails lately, all asking me what it's like to be an escort. At first I really didn't know what to say. Clearly, I write this blog to share my experiences in the field, and I hope that I've done an admirable job thus far at letting people know the ins and outs of the business.

When I wrote someone back asking to elaborate, they apologized, then asked what they really wanted to know: What are the drawbacks of being an escort?

Well, that is a topic I can definitely write about.

First things first: I love my job. Sure, I get frustrated sometimes, but at the end of the day I truly believe that I am treated as good if not better than those in traditional 9-5 gigs. The fact that I have sex several times a week as part of my livelihood is really an added bonus. However, like any other job, there are drawbacks. Let's review them, shall we?

  • Lying to friends and family. This is probably the toughest. I'm lucky to now have a good group of people I can share my experiences with. Still, the only person who knows about my job that isn't an escort themselves is Bailey. Well, Bailey and a old friend from university, but still. I lie to my parents. I lie to more casual acquaintances. I lie to family members. It's not fun -- but it's for their own good
  • Strange and inconvenient hours. Working nights and weekends is common in sex work. Everyone from escorts to strippers to "massage therapists" know going in that giving up a Friday or Saturday night is necessary to have a successful career. That's not to say I don't work on a Wednesday afternoon, but such bookings are less common than the ubiquitous Friday night fuck.
  • "Real" relationships are almost impossible. Now, plenty of people my age don't seek out monogamous relationships either. Still, I never liked having possibilities eliminated almost arbitrarily, and escorting certainly does that. Brianna's rejection hurt -- if only for a little bit -- and it's likely to happen again should I admit my job to a potential love interest. The day I find a girl who doesn't care what I do for a living is the day I... well... I honestly have no idea. The mere idea of such an event happening seems so unlikely.
  • Judgment from people who don't know the first thing about me. To the few people who have sent me nasty Emails: Fuck you. I really mean that. You are in no position to tell me how to live my life or pay my rent. The idea that a university-educated, disease-free young man would choose sex work over a 9-5 job angers a very small (but very vocal) segment of people. Why that is I have no idea. Do I criticize the accountant who works 10 hours a day to the detriment of his wife and children? Then please, extend the same courtesy to me.
  • One day, I'll be undesirable. Yes, I make less money than Simone or Rebecca or any other female escort. I take solace in the fact that as a man, I can work much longer than they can. Even if I hit my mid-30s, who cares? Certainly not women, who are noted for saying that men get better than age. One day, however, I will find myself undesirable, and it'll be time to find a new career. At the present, I have no idea what the career will be. That bugs me.

Well, that's all that I've come up with so far. I hope this post helps illustrate some of the drawbacks that escorts like Adam, Rebecca, Simone and myself experience in our line of work. I collaborated with them on this post (yes, even Rebecca, she and I are speaking) and they all approve. So take notice, everyone, and please: enter this career with the utmost caution.

It's not a job for everyone!
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