Thursday, January 7, 2010

Apology

Thursday, January 7, 2010
It was 10:30 a.m. After being out late last night on a booking, I was still asleep -- until the phone began ringing.

It can't be my agent, I thought. She wouldn't call early the next day when she booked me for a two-hour booking the night before. Reaching over onto the nightstand beside my bed, I pick up my phone and don't even bother looking to see who it is.

"Hello?" I said, my voice still a bit groggy with sleep.

"Hello, _______? This is _______ from __________ Communications."

Okay, several things. First, this woman used my real name. Secondly, she's from the firm up north that passed me over for another candidate. Not exactly the person I want to hear from first thing in the morning.

For a brief second I wonder if their new hire is a complete psycho, photo-copied his/her ass on the copy machine, threw hot coffee on the Vice President, or simply failed to show up at all. Was the woman from HR calling me for another interview?

"Yes, hello." I sat up in bed, suddenly alert. "What can I do for you this morning?"

"Listen, I just wanted to apologize again for not being in contact about the position. About not letting you know we filled it."

"Hmm? Oh, right. It's fine, really. Thanks for letting me know in the end, though. Most other recruiters aren't as kind."

The woman laughed. "I know we have a bad rep. Still, I hope you'll continue to be interested in opportunities with the firm. Take care..."

I hung up with a "what-the-fuck" moment going through my mind. Did this woman feel guilty after the e-mail I sent her, basically asking her to just be honest with me about whether the firm was interested in hiring me? Was she genuine in saying I should continue to keep the firm in my professional sights?

Her kindness certainly throws a wrench in my plans to stop trying to get work in my field of university. Honestly, going through the job application process was insulting and unrewarding. Why put myself through that when I'm already earning better money than almost everyone I went to university with?

Picking up my phone again, I see there was a text from the agent. I'm working tonight -- no surprise there -- but the text took me aback. Sometimes, it seems that Julian and the "real me" are being pulled in two different directions. God only knows who will end up winning in the end.

I suppose it'll be whoever wants me the most.
 
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