If I do leave Miami, I want Simone to come with me.
I came to this realization when I was contacted by a few other firms regarding interest and/or interviews for full-time employment. The thought of packing up my belongings and moving to New York City, Boston, or even Los Angeles fills me with excitement. Alas, it also fills me with sadness.
Miami has been home for more than five years. I went to university here, transformed from a boy into a man, met my first love. I love the energy of the city -- the warm weather, the neon lights on Ocean Drive, the feeling of driving over the MacArthur Causeway with my stereo blaring and the warm night air rushing all around me.
Are there downsides to living in Miami? Of course. Pay a visit to City Data and you can read people gripe about the city to no end -- even if they live in Wisconsin. Still, to me, Miami has been kind. Bailey and even Adam have grown into very, very good friends. And as for Simone, well, this blog speaks for itself.
We were lying in bed together when I asked her if she would entertain the idea of leaving with me. She was silent for a moment, then took a deep breath. Then, she finally said what I didn't really want to hear.
"I don't know."
"What do you mean?" I said. "Are you not sure you want to leave, or is it the idea of leaving with me that makes you--?"
"I don't know because I don't know how I feel about our relationship. I mean, is this for keeps? Can two escorts really call it quits and start a new life together just like that?"
I agreed that I didn't have an answer, either. It's not like there's a blueprint for former escorts who wish to start over with regular jobs and a much tamer sex life. Yet the more I think about it, the more I think the time might be right. Despite writing what I did at the beginning of 2010, I can't help but feel that things are going to change very, very soon.
I suppose the real question is would starting over in a new city mean giving up everything I have worked hard here to build. I do have a career -- albeit an illegal one. I have wonderful friends, and a woman that I see exclusively outside of work. While many would scoff at the idea of having sex with people for money and then trying to maintain a relationship outside of escorting, I've been able to do it fairly well thus far.
Sure, I have sex with clients. But non-paid sex on my own time? There's only one woman I share my bed with in that regard, and her name is Simone. No one else. Nobody. And this past weekend, I uttered three words that I haven't said to anyone since Rebecca and I split up.
"Simone," I said, just as we were both falling asleep. "I love you."
There -- I said it. Feel free to analyze it, deconstruct it, send me emails asking if I really meant it. I've only just admitted it to myself, really. And if there's anything that fills an escort's heart with dread more than anything, it's love.
Excited as I am over everything that's happened this past month, I'm really in uncharted territory here. Oh, and just as an added tidbit, I did indeed call the firm that my spring-break client works at. They asked for my resume, a few writing samples, and professional references.
Then, they called back, and said they would like to conduct a video chat. I've got my dress shirt ready for tomorrow afternoon. Wish me luck, everyone. Professionally, I've got it all worked out. Personally, however...
I need all the luck I can get.
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