Balance

How do you continue to see clients when it's obvious you've developed feelings for Simone?

I figured someone would ask this question sooner or later. I've been thinking about it a lot lately, and I've come to the decision that while I do in fact have "feelings" for Simone, I'm still able to see my clients as well.

How is this possible? Compartmentalization plays a part -- being able to keep a level head and a clear mind about what I do for a living. Wonderful as my clients are, they're just business. They pay for my companionship. They don't know my real name. And, eventually, we'll both move on to different things.

Is there anything I do with Simone that I don't do with clients? Certainly. I don't allow degradation or any type of BDSM with clients. I mean, giving a client a light spanking if she so desires is one thing, but allowing a client to tie me to the bedpost while she drips wax on my chest? No. Allowing her to take me into the bedroom, demand that I drop my pants and allow her to belt my ass? No.

Simone, for the record, does both of those things. In addition, there's also one thing I share with Simone that I don't share with clients: eye contact during orgasms. 

Not to say that Simone and I always look into each others' eyes when we come, but it's happened on more than one occasion. For some reason, I don't do this with my clients. It's not that I don't care to see what they're experiencing, or that I'm somehow ashamed or disinterested in the act of sex itself. It's just... I guess the fact that I'm being paid makes me think, "Well, this is just work. I don't really care for the intimacy."

With Simone, however, I do care for intimacy. I let her do the light BDSM stuff because I know she cares, and I can trust her to never do anything that would actually hurt me. That kind of trust isn't really possible with an escort/client scenario.

And yes, let us not forget that Simone sees other men as well. Still, it seems that no matter what, she and I find time for each other each week. If there wasn't something "more" between us besides sex, I doubt we'd make the effort.