Thursday, August 6, 2009

To Tell, or Not to Tell?

Thursday, August 6, 2009
Just two days back from Vancouver and already I'm mediating a crisis.

Bailey instructed a friend of his to contact me regarding his situation. It seems this friend just found out his girlfriend had an abortion without his knowledge -- and yes, the baby was his. Seemed they had stopped using condoms and were relying on birth control pills, ones that she forgot to take one day, and ended up getting pregnant.

Fearing her boyfriend would leave her should she reveal the pregnancy, she chose to abort and be done with it. When the boyfriend finally found out... well, let's say it wasn't pretty. He left their apartment and has been staying with Bailey for the past few days while he looks for another place.

So, who is "right" and who is "wrong" in this situation? That was the answer the boyfriend desperately wanted to hear -- but sadly, I couldn't provide it. I did my best to let him vent, listening to his feelings of sadness and betrayal and even guilt. The thought of bringing a child into the world terrified him, so it in that respect he knew that having an abortion was the right thing.

However, what hurt the most was the fact that his girlfriend didn't even bother to tell him -- that their relationship wasn't strong enough to deal with this event together. What else could she be hiding, if she was able to conceal her pregnancy?

More than anything, this event solidifies my position that there needs to be a male birth control pill out there. Something that a man can take to prevent pregnancy, should his female partner ever forget to take hers. Once both partners are tested for STIs and given a clean bill of health, they can rest easy in that they are both exclusive with one another, and that no pregnancy will result out of their having sex.

I'm not quite sure why Bailey referred his friend to me, other than the fact that sex is my profession and I have a good deal of experience dealing with it. To the best of my knowledge, I don't have any children out there in the world, something I certainly hope to be true. Finding out that their real father was a whore and that their mother was paying for a good time isn't something a child should be exposed to -- at least not until they're old enough to understand it.

Last but not least, this episode reminds me why I think having a vasectomy would be a great thing. Now finding a doctor to perform the procedure... that would be the hard part.
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