Tiger Woods and the Art of an Affair

Unless you've been in a coma this past weekend, you've heard the story about Tiger Woods's car crash. According to authorities, Woods sped out of his driveway at around 3 a.m., crashed into a tree as well as a fire hydrant. His wife, supposedly, broke the windows of his escadale with a golf club in order to pull him to safety.

The truth, however, is slowly coming out as well. Read about Woods's thinly-veiled confession here: 'I regret those transgressions,' Tiger Says.

So, another athlete caught dicking around. No surprise there, really. I hate to say it, but pro athletes aren't known to be champions of marital fidelity. Or any other kind of fidelity, actually. Deep down, I think most women know this -- that if they marry an athlete, they should expect him to stray eventually.

However, as a sex worker, I can't help but think that Woods could have kept this whole thing under wraps by just using escorts instead of having full-blown affairs with other women. Please understand that I'm not excusing his behavior. However, given the propensity in which both men and women cheat, there are ways to go about it without wrecking the marriage they both signed up for.

Assuming Woods's wife wants a divorce, he could stand to lose millions. While prenuptial agreements will certainly help, it's unlikely she's going to walk away without a seven-figure payday. As for their two children, well, it's no mystery who's likely to get full custody. And with Daddy on the road so much already, I fear Woods might be relegated to the typical visitations during Christmas and summer vacation.

How would an escort have prevented this? First and foremost, any good escort knows how to keep her mouth shut and not talk to the tabloids. Secondly, they often meet their clients in busy hotels in major cities -- not night clubs where there are a million people with camera phones, waiting to capture any evidence.

The agency the escort is signed with would have gladly made arrangements to maintain anonymity. My own agent has done it before when I worked with a celebrity client this past summer. Really, it's not that hard.

My advice to woods? Beg and grovel for forgiveness. If not, get yourself a good divorce lawyer and be prepared not to see your kids as often as you'd like. And while I earn a living off of infidelity, I'll say that you were damn stupid not to think your wife would find out. Women are far, far more intelligent when it comes to men in regards to relationships.

They smell lies. Pick up on inconsistencies. Check and double-check your stories with a variety of sources and informants. Quite simply, women are clever -- so clever that it's rare a man can get away with lying for long.