I do, however, remember a time when one of the faculty members at my old high school got a bit too close for comfort. He had a reputation for being a bit too touchy-feely with students, but thanks to tenure he would literally have to assault someone in front of the principle to be disciplined for it.
I was in boys' locker room after school, making up a missed gym class when I heard someone approaching. Figuring it was another student or perhaps an instructor, I didn't think anything of it. However, it was him -- the teacher I'll refer to as Mr. X.
"Hey," he said to me. "Looked like you worked up a sweat."
"Yeah, looks like." You probably would like a sweaty teenager at your disposal.
"I don't usually see you here after school. Usually you're out the door right at 2:45 like the rest of them."
"I had to make up a gym class. Guess that's the price I pay for taking a day off to go to New York City."
"New York? What's there?"
"Friends; colleges; good food. The usual."
I could already see him inching closer -- particularly after I stripped off my shirt and shorts, leaving me clad in nothing but a pair of boxers. Not the smartest move on my behalf, true, but I wasn't about to let that idiot scare me into walking home in sweat-drenched clothes.
"So... are you thinking of going to college in New York, then?"
"Either there or Florida," I replied. "We'll see how things turn out."
"You'll do well wherever you go. You're one of the... smarter kids I've taught in the last few years."
"I doubt that, but thanks anyway."
"Modesty," he said. "A good trait to have."
I slipped on my sweatshirt and jeans, then sat down on a bench to lace up my shoes. I could have left right then and there -- but what fun would that have been? Even in my high school years I had a bit of a devil inside of me. And if anyone deserved to be toyed with...
"I'd trade it in for a massive cock."
Mr. X dropped his bag as soon as I said the word cock.
"I'm not saying I'm dissatisfied with my size now, but let's be honest, sometimes bigger is better."
"I... Well, that's... You know---"
"Oh, God, I'm sorry. Am I making you uncomfortable?"
"No, it's just that---"
"Because the way I hear it, you happen to like teenagers. And I don't mean in that healthy, 'I-want-to-see-them-succeed' kind of way."
"Excuse me?" he said.
"Don't play dumb with me, all right? The minute my clothes came off you lit up like a fucking Christmas tree. If you want to gawk at underage ass I suggest you be a bit more discreet."
I got up to leave when he called me back, then barraged me with a series of accusations, how speaking out of tone to a staff member was an "infraction" that could be made known to college recruiters. I listened, smiling as I thought of the best way to put him in his place.
"Well look at you," I said. "I never figured you for a top, but the way you're talking now..." I let my voice trail off as Mr. X's face grew progressively more red. Knowing I needed something to scare him off for good, I decided that a little white lie couldn't hurt.
"I'm telling you this for your own good," I continued. "Look, I have a family member at the FBI. He lives in Virginia and commutes to D.C. on the train. All I can say now is that this school is under investigation."
"Investigation? What are you talking about?"
"You've seen the drugs that go through this place. Marijuana is one thing, but prescription drug sales are another. It's been happening all over upper middle-class suburbs the last few years. The feds are watching, and eventually they'll make a bust."
"And what does that have to do with me?"
"Because it would be nothing for them to look into your conduct as well. Like why you were removed as head coach for the boys' soccer team last year. So let's be clear on one thing -- gawk as much as you like at other kids, but leave me out of your fantasies."
Mr. X was silent. I smirked, turned my back, and walked out the door.
* * *
Last I heard, Mr. X was let go. I don't know what for exactly, but it was a long time coming. I still think of him sometimes, mostly when I'm watching Law & Order: SVU, especially when Benson and Stabler and looking into a crime that happened at a school.
Some might think my encounter with Mr. X would be damaging, but I disagree. If anything, it showed me what inappropriate conduct was at a young age. What I do for a living isn't exploiting anyone, and I would never allow myself to be exploited and/or disrespected either.
So, maybe high school wasn't a waste of time after all. Who says kids don't learn anything these days?
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