Saturday, May 16, 2009

Graduation: Part Deux

Saturday, May 16, 2009
A friend of mine recently graduated from college. I attended the commencement ceremony on Friday afternoon, which made me think back to my own graduation one year ago.

The ceremony itself was great, but as I sat in the stands with the rest of the guests, a feeling of guilt came over me. All of the speakers talked about striving for the best in life, even in the midst of a rotten economy. Those graduating with a Bachelor's degree had an advantage, it was said, because their time at university gave them the skills and the knowledge to strive in an ever-changing world.

I sat there, trying to spot my friend in the crowd but also feeling as if I had a scarlet letter on my chest. I'm sure that escorting wasn't a career path the university would be proud to see any of their graduates enter into, but that didn't stop me. In the elitist eyes of academia, selling sex for cash was deplorable -- on the same level as drug trafficking or other illegal activities.

Had I really sold myself short? I don't mean in terms of money -- I'm earning a better living than most -- but rather in terms of intelligence? Sex-work isn't psychologically taxing, but it can take an emotional toll if one isn't careful. So far I've been able to compartmentalize and numb my emotions well enough. Under no circumstances am I to develop feelings for a client and compromise the professional relationship.

As for "real love"? I haven't found it yet -- not that I'm really looking for it, either.

Will I stay in this business forever? Of course not. Everyone has a professional expiration date, even escorts such as myself. But right now, quitting escorting and trying to get a job with my degree will do nothing but put me in the unemployment line. There's nothing more humiliating than having to ask for a handout.

I made it in the world, just not by traditional means. That's all I want people to understand.
◄Design by Pocket, BlogBulk Blogger Templates