Sunday, September 20, 2009

Value Voters Summit (Carrie Prejan is an idiot)

Sunday, September 20, 2009
I knew this was coming sooner or later.

We'd just finished having sex. Nothing special -- a bit boring, actually. What struck me most about the client was how conservative and prim she appeared to be. Then again, I should know by now that there isn't a specific "type" of person that hires an escort for sex.

Perhaps her husband ignores her. Perhaps he's having an affair himself and she's having sex with me out of spite. Last but not least, erectile dysfunction (ED) could be wreaking havoc on their sex life -- most of all the wife, who needs sex more than her husband could ever imagine.

However, I could forgive all this. Hell, part of it even fascinates me. What I couldn't forgive is that this woman turned on the Value Voters Summit -- a breeding ground for conservatives who think our president is a "socialist" and that his public-option plan for health care will turn the US into France.

"Why are you watching that shit?" I said, and instantly knew I'd overstepped my bounds.

"What do you mean, 'shit'?" the client asked. "It's a gathering of social conservatives."

Though I knew my agent would scold me soundly (and that she did), I decided not to back down.

"Those people are nothing but fear mongers," I continued. "They lost the election -- and even worse, a black man is president. Double insult."

"So all conservatives are racist?"

"Well, having Rush Limbaugh as the party's mouthpiece doesn't help. I'm a little suspicious over Mitt Romney too -- well, actually, just over Mormonism. Do you know what LDS doctrine says about dark-skinned people? They're cursed by Cain, apparently. Then again, I suppose I shouldn't worry. No matter what they say, they're not a religion -- they're a cult."

The client scowled like a dog. A wave of shame went through me that I had sex with this woman, much less took her money. We sparred for a few minutes more, particularly over that stupid cunt Carrie Prejan. Here is a girl who thinks she was chosen by God to deny gays the right to marry.

Does that qualify as schizophrenia?

"You should go," the client said, just as I'd gathered my things. "I don't think I'll be using your services again."

"A word of advice," I said. "Don't expect people in my line of work to agree with conservative politics. I don't know what the hell happened to the GOP the last few years, but they're full of religious fanatics and pro-war fear mongers. Of course there's one cure for fear."

"And what would that be?" the client asked wryly.

"Education," I said. "I might be a prostitute, but I'm neither uneducated nor influenced by scare tactics. If only the rest of the world was so fortunate."

And with that, I caught the cab waiting outside, and left the client's home knowing I'd never return. Wherever she is now, I hope she realizes that spreading fear in the name of politics in order to get one's party ahead went out of style in the 1950s.

Oh, and who the hell is Maggie Gallagher? The obese woman who introduced Prejan? I looked her up, and she appears to some sort of columnist / anti-gay marriage advocate hybrid. If her ugly mug isn't enough to scare off young voters, I don't know what is.

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