Close Encounters of the Child Kind

The client said we were alone -- and I believed her.

It wasn't until I had walked downstairs to wait for my cab did I see her teenage daughter in the living room. She looked quite like her mother. Same brown hair, hazel eyes and olive skin tone. She (the daughter) looked relaxed as she lounged on the sofa, watching "Twilight" on DVD.

For a moment, I hoped I could just sneak out the front door without her seeing me. Alas, I must have stepped over a creaky floor board, because she immediately turned around and looked at me with a wide-eyed expression.

"Who are you?" she asked.

"I... uh... I'm from Best Buy."

"Best Buy?"

Feeling my face go red, I said, "Yeah, you know... the Geek Squad. Your mom told me you had problems on the computer upstairs."

"Oh." The girl sized me up from head to toe. "Aren't you supposed to wear a uniform?"

Shit, I thought. "Um, you're right. But I got some Pepsi on it during lunch, so it's at the dry cleaners. I was just on my way out..."

"Is her computer all right?"

"Yes," I said. "Just fine."

As soon as I heard the cab honk out front, I ran out of the house like a bat out of hell. That alone had to tip off the daughter that I wasn't from the Geek Squad (last I checked, they drive a VW beetle with the Geek Squad logo printed on it).

It was one of the most frightening encounters with a client, for sure. I must have looked positively horrified, because even the cab driver asked if I was all right. Upon getting home, I went to the refrigerator and downed some coke and Jack Daniels.

Frightened as I was over running into a client's child, I wonder what the client herself will explain to the daughter. Frequenting escorts isn't something one can just discuss at the dinner table. Then again, it's not my problem -- but hers.

As I've always said, children and escorting DO NOT MIX.