Fatherhood

I've been debating whether to write about this at all. It's funny -- I can write about fisting, rimming, orgies in the Florida Keys and everything else under the sexual sun, but when it comes to my own life I'm a bit more cagey.

Running into a client's child made me think back to my relationship with Catherine, as well as the subsequent pregnancy that ended it. Yes, pregnancy. As I've mentioned before, Catherine was married when we began our relationship. In addition to sleeping with me, she would (occasionally) have sex with her husband.

As she explained it, she simply forgot to take her pill. She hid the pregnancy from both her husband and myself until she suffered a miscarriage during her first trimester. Being slim, she didn't even show. But who was the baby's father? That is a question that was never answered.

I tell myself that it wasn't my child. After all, Catherine and I used condoms religiously, which meant even though she forgot her pill, we still had protection. I've never suffered a broken condom -- thank God -- which makes me believe the child had to be her husband's.

Still, the thought of her carrying my child was frightening. She would have kept it, certainly. But would she have acknowledged the affair she and I carried on to her husband? Would I leave my son/daughter to be raised by them?

It's happened before. Babies created via extramarital affairs are, at times, kept by the married couple. The other man gets paid off, sometimes even signing a contract promising he will never contact either the married couple or his offspring in exchange for a cash payout.

So there it is. Just one of the few skeletons from my closet -- events that helped shape the person I became, no matter how much I would like to forget them. While I know the purpose of this blog is to titillate the reader with tales from my life as a male escort, I do find the process of (anonymously) confessing my past to be rather cathartic.

And despite being in early twenties, I still have plenty of skeletons left. Stay tuned...