Watching Porn -- Together

"The beer was already there," said my cousin. "So we ordered some pizza, caught up on everything. Oh yeah -- we watched a porn too."

"Come again?" I said. "You watched a porn... with your frat brothers?"

"Yeah. What, like you've never watched porn with your guy friends?"

"Can't say that I have."

And so I discovered that guys -- particularly those in fraternities -- watch porn together. This cousin of mine, obviously he's not the one who came out to me last Christmas. I have quite the extended family. He's only a sophomore (second year of university) and at 20 years old isn't even old enough to drink beer.

Yet he's been watching porn since he was about 17.

This was a pretty startling revelation. Not that teenage boys watch porn, but that when they go to university, it becomes a group activity. Never once have I watched porn with other guys. Never. To me, porn is for private consumption and, most often, masturbatory aid.

My cousin insisted that the viewing didn't turn into a circle jerk. "No gay shit" were his exacts words, I believe. OK, so if watching porn with other men didn't lead to a circle jerk -- meaning no one had any intention of masturbating -- then what was the point of it all?

"Just to see it," my cousin said. "Chill out with your bros, talk about what you'd like to do to the girl on the TV."

Still not quite I understand the whole thing, but here goes: I believe that watching porn together is a way for young guys to verbalize their sexual frustrations and desires with one another. Whether they want to "bang that bitch in the ass" or "blow my load on her face," it's about... recreation.

By watching porn and saying what they'd like to do to the girl being fucked on-screen, these guys can solidify their masculinity and assert their heterosexual desires. Of course, actually having sex with a girl would do both -- or would it?

As I've said before, no one in my family knows what I do for a living. And having sex with women, professionally speaking, isn't about making myself out to be a man. It was about paying the bills. The fact that I've slept with hundreds of women still doesn't seem "real" to me. It's just a consequence of the job.

I also have another theory about why I don't necessarily like porn, and would never want to watch it with anyone. Porn, in many cases, is about casting women in a submissive role. Escorting, on the other hand, is a much more collaborative effort.

The client and I, together, come to an agreement as to what we'd like to do while I'm on the clock. In comparison, porn just seems to one-sided. Watch oral, anal or vaginal sex, masturbate until ejaculation, turn off DVD and repeat next week. So dull, so lifeless. But for some guys, I suppose that's as good as it gets.

Furthermore, I doubt frat guys would like to watch BDSM movies in which the woman is in charge. Seeing Simone dressed in leather with a whip in-hand is more arousing than watching Jenna Jameson, Tera Patrick or Sasha Grey get a facial. Could it be that men who prefer a dominant woman aren't turned on by the submissive nature of women in most porn?

Could be. I'm not an expert -- I'm just an ex-escort with a blog.

Does anyone here have any thoughts and/or experience with watching porn as a group? If so, shoot me an email and I may write a follow-up entry to this one. Until then, let's all enjoy the cool, crisp days of fall :)