Sunday, June 6, 2010

Sexual Harassment of Men

Sunday, June 6, 2010

I haven't been harassed at work -- but a co-worker of mine had a story to share.

When she first mentioned that she had some experience in the area of sexual harassment, I assumed she had been subjected to it herself. That wasn't the case. In fact, it was her brother who found himself being pursued by a female supervisor more than fifteen years his senior.

"It was horrible," my co-worker said. "My poor brother, he had to put up with all her comments, her groping him, all when he's just trying to do his job."

"Did he bring it up to anyone?"

"He went to HR, but they didn't really do anything. Eventually, they all had a meeting, and his supervisor agreed to stop. And she did, at least for awhile."

"Not permanently," I said.


I'll admit the sexual harassment of males in the workplace is new territory for me. I never gave it much thought. Seeing how my previous career as an escort was built around the idea of sexual intercourse -- the idea that sex and work were one of the same -- I never really thought of what it would be like to be subjected to advances and not want them.

My co-worker and I chatted about the whole thing for awhile longer, and inevitably she asked me what I would have done in her brother's shoes. Tricky territory for certain. I shrugged, said I never really thought about it, but eventually came up with an answer.

"I'd probably find her husband," I said. "Assuming she had one. I'd talk with him, befriend him, try to make a connection."

"Really? Why?"

"Adulterers thrive on anonymity," I continued. "If my boss was looking for sex outside of her marriage, chances are her husband doesn't know about it. Once he does -- or once the object of her desire is now involved in her married life -- the advances should stop."

My co-worker looked surprised, impressed. Me, on the other hand, I was quite nervous. I don't mean to talk down to people who aren't sex workers, but sometimes "regular people" can be so naive when it comes to sex, adultery, etc. We escorts (current and former) are a bit more savvy. Or jaded. Perhaps both.

Escorting might be in my past, but sex and relationships are still very much a part of my present.

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