Saturday, June 12, 2010

Secrets

Saturday, June 12, 2010
Up before noon on a Saturday! I am turning into a square...

I thought I'd write about secrets. Everyone has them, after all. Whether it's a wife who cheated on her husband with a co-worker, a student who cheated on an exam, an oil company lying about their preparedness to tackle a spill.

I'm really not that different from anyone else. Yes, the whole having-sex-for-money thing sets me apart from most of the population, but having secrets certainly does not. I am a firm believer that everyone -- from my boss and co-workers, to the readers of this blog and all those in between -- have secrets.

Why do we hide things, then? Simple: we think that there are some truths better left untold. The truth hurts -- that's the cliche, and sometimes it's true. My parents would be devastated if they ever found out I was selling sex for money. Similarly, my new-found career here in New York City would be damaged beyond repair.

We keep charades going because we've grown comfortable with the arrangement. Why on Earth would a husband admit that he's cheated on his wife, when she's the one who cooks his meals, cares for the children, and probably brings in additional income from a job of her own?

Oddly enough, secrets can also be comforting. Hypocritical as this sounds, sometimes being an escort and keeping under wraps felt good. There I was, doing something that was technically illegal but rarely prosecuted at the high-end of the spectrum. I had a life and an income that would be envied by many, and it was my secret.

Yes, I was a bit of a smug bastard at times. Sue me.

I knew things most people didn't -- from what women really want to do in the bedroom, to why some of their husbands were woefully inadequate at giving it to them. These secrets were mine, and aside from this blog, I really didn't share them. Selfish? I think not. But still highly satisfying.

So kids, just remember: secrets often remain untold because it's truly the best thing for everyone. And sometimes, our secrets keep us company when no else will.


 
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